In the challenging times of our lives, (not) eating can become a refuge to which we are heading, a comfort we seek.

Why does emotional (not) eating occur? How did you get to the area of eating disorders?

From the very first years of life, an anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment can be outlined in relation to significant people in life (mother, father, a grandmother, etc.), which is marking our lives. For example, most often, anorexia nervosa is correlated with avoidant attachment and bulimia nervosa with anxious attachment.

If in childhood the needs (of attention, affection, expression of emotions, safety, empathy, etc.) were not met or were met to a small extent, then there is a fairly high risk that then the child who became an adult will use dysfunctional mechanisms to cope with difficult situations. Thus, emotional sufferings can end up being alleviated (only seemingly!) with the help of undereating or overeating. Parents’ divorce, different treatment of siblings in the family, bullying at school, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse are elements that can contribute to shaping an eating disorder.

What psychological significance can an eating disorder have?

You can get to the bulimia area because you are increasingly resorting to food as a relief of emotional suffering. Run away from negative emotions, running towards food, which gives you a temporary, illusory state of well-being. So, the way to deal with a difficult situation is from the area of self-soothing through food. The extra kilos were maybe often your armor to cope with some painful life events.

If you are at the opposite end, that of starvation, of anorexia, notice what brought you to this area. Maybe it was the desire to align yourself to some standards, to present on the outside a cosmeticized image, this actually covering the fear of rejection, of abandonment. Maybe you want to get off the kilos precisely because you cannot let go on an emotional level. Maybe you are making yourself over responsible for something that doesn’t work in your relationships and punish yourself by reducing your daily portion of food, maybe the food area is the only one in your life where you feel you’re in control. Or you get involved in various competitions related to the way you look, that you want to win, precisely because you imagine that this is how you can receive the love you need so much!

What can you do to solve the problem?

It is important to see what alarm signal the weight is triggering for you, because it tells you about a problem on an emotional level. And you need to pay attention to it, to turn to a psychotherapist to reach the healing of emotional wounds and, in this way, to achieve a balance of body weight.