The impact of divorce can be very strong, especially if the news comes to you unexpectedly and you ask yourself “What have I done wrong?” But, did not any alarm signal appear in the relationship, did your partner not say or suggest anything? Or maybe you were satisfied with the situation at the time and ignored any clues?

Whether it appeared unexpectedly or was foreshadowed earlier, divorce brings more changes. And although it may seem paradoxical at first glance, it can bring with it both dangers and opportunities.

What dangers can arise after divorce?

• to desperately look for another partner, to replace the “former”; this can reduce the tension for the moment, but at the same time it can bring the risk of reaching “fast forward” in a dysfunctional relationship;
• to go into the other extreme, saying “I never need anyone again!”; make your period of mourning, it is natural to suffer and cry because you have lost a loved one, you have lost the relationship, your role as husband, wife. Then, let things naturally evolve towards new possible relationships!
• to isolate yourself even from friends, thus removing those people who can offer you support in difficult moments. If you find it overwhelming for you, seek the help of a psychologist, divorce counselling, psychotherapy;
• seek relief by adopting dangerous behaviors: gambling, drinking alcohol or maybe even drugs. But it is only an illusory relief, in reality they bring the danger of installing addiction.

What opportunities could divorce bring you? Grow on a personal level:

• take responsibility for your part of the relationship and see what you could do differently in a future relationship, so as not to end up in a similar situation;
• pay attention to the shadows of the past, see if you brought something from your childhood or other relationships into your marriage;
• until your role as a partner becomes active again, refocus your time and energy on the role of “I”, towards your passions.