Whether you are on one side or the other of the barricade, infidelity brings painful aspects, turmoil, questions. On the one hand, the cheated person may feel strong emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, and they want to know why they ended up in this situation. On the other hand, the person who cheats also reaches a point where, besides benefits, they also bear the costs and, in order to make a change, they need to find out what is behind the infidelity.

Regardless of the side of the barricade you are on, in the psychotherapy process infidelity can be viewed from various perspectives. Exploring emotions, needs and personal life history, the therapist is next to you, so that you can find the solutions designed to bring you peace and a romantic relationship where you can be authentic and feel satisfied and happy.

If we refer to the person cheating, they may discover in therapy that infidelity is based on cognitive schemas shaped since childhood, such as:

• subjugation: they do not express needs, desires, or anger in relation to the partner, for fear of being rejected, for fear of retaliation but they choose to rebel against the partner by cheating
• deficiency, shame: low self-esteem, they consider themselves different, defective and resort to infidelity precisely to value themselves by conquering others
• abandonment: if in doubts about the partner’s love, the durability of their relationship and in fear of being abandoned, they look for someone else to ensure their “safety net” and choose to have other relationships at the same time
• lack of self-control: low tolerance to frustration, cannot establish healthy limits, they are constantly looking for thrills (in the case of “chronic” infidelity)

And the cheated person can discover various aspects in psychotherapy:

• what made them enter into a relationship with a partner who is unfaithful
• why they stayed in a dysfunctional couple
• what are the next steps if choosing to rebuild the relationship
• how to get out, as smoothly as possible, from a toxic relationship
• what they can do in the future, to have the desired couple

Therefore, although infidelity brings out negative emotions, it can be transformed into a turning point, which will later generate a full life in a couple.