Most often we hear “It was like a lightning strike for me!”, “I never would have imagined that this could happen to me!” Shattered dreams, an avalanche of thoughts, an amalgamation of emotions, tumultuous behavior – here’s what infidelity brings to the couple’s life.

To prevent infidelity, it is important to build a relationship in which the partner feels accepted, loved and valued and in which its needs and desires are taken into account. We could say that it is a dance in two, in which both energetic and vibrant movements are important, as well as those less perceptible and subtle, but which give charm and color. What would you guys do about it?

There are some directions to turn your attention, so as to make this dance to be elegant, harmonious and comforting both for you and for your partner. You could start with the acceptance of your partner both in his/her uniqueness as a person and as an indispensable part of your couple relationship (otherwise how could we talk about a couple relationship?). And since this relationship entails a sum of permissions and prohibitions, you find a balance between them. Each of us wants a certain freedom of movement. In addition, even a golden cage, still a cage remains! A cage from which the closed partner will try to take flight at some point.

Communication is an essential element in a relationship. Therefore, it is important to practice the art of actually listening to your partner and finding solutions for possible conflicts. When you talk, when your partner tells you something, eliminate what can distract you (turn off the TV, radio, leave aside the newspaper or tablet), ask questions, reword with your words, to make sure you understand the message correctly! In any relationship, contradictory discussions may occur on various topics; respect the opinion of the other, avoid sarcasm and focus on the subject and not on blaming your partner; accept the fact that sometimes reaching an agreement also entails certain compromises and seek a solution convenient for both parties.

Maintain emotional and biological intimacy: share emotions, feelings, create your unique moments, spend quality time together; even if you are no longer at the beginning of the relationship, pay attention to the needs and desires of your partner, keep the gestures of tenderness, take into account his/her preferences; think about how you can have a fulfilled sexual relationship even when you are going through more difficult times.

Leave your partner the freedom to choose and balance their own role: for example, do not burden your wife by asking her to temporarily quit her job and stay at home with the child until it turns 2 years old, especially if she values very much the professional aspect; or do not ask the husband to “resign” from all the other roles (friend, son, etc.). Balance your own roles; for example, when you have a baby, find the most appropriate solutions to give time and attention to your relationship; otherwise, your partner may feel neglected or even abandoned.

Give your partner your trust. Jealousy is a destructive element in the couple relationship and a behavior triggered by it can be very harmful. Think about how your partner feels if you check its phone to see who called or if a client/ collaborator calls and you make a scene of jealousy. Is he/she humiliated, annoyed or maybe even angry? By trying to control it as much as possible, you risk destroying the relationship. You can discuss it openly, emphasizing what are the important values for you and pointing out, with tact and firmness at the same time, what you consider unacceptable in your relationship.

If you notice that your partner “runs away” from the relationship under various pretexts (most often motivating that it has a lot of work to do and spending a lot of time at work), initiate a discussion and share with it her what you feel. Formulate a desire for each of your frustrations and express it with great tact so that you do not hurt your partner. It is important to find the right time and environment for this discussion and to invite your partner to say what it wants. Find together solutions to change your behaviors, so that you reach the fulfillment of these mutually expressed desires and, in this way, gradually eliminate frustrations.

Have you thought about what effect small surprises can have? Take your wife a bouquet of flowers – without any special occasion or organize for your husband a fishing trip – if this is one of his passions. Take something from his/her role for a day: prepare something to eat and relieve your wife of this task or go to the market instead of your husband and let him watch his favorite TV show. They are seemingly small gestures, but they can matter a lot in your relationship.